Do you sometimes struggle to make decisions without checking with them? Or feel guilty for wanting space or independence in a relationship?
In this episode, Ankit talks with Dr. Rachel Jayaseelan, a psychologist who works extensively with couples, about a pattern that erodes many relationships: enmeshment. It's the slow fade of your own routines, the friends you stop seeing, the hobbies you let go of, all while thinking everything's fine because the relationship feels good.
She examines how growing up in collectivist Indian households sets us up for enmeshment without even realizing it. She maps out what healthy separation actually looks like, and why sitting with discomfort beats avoiding it every time. If you've ever felt like you're performing a relationship rather than living one, this conversation offers a way back to yourself.
About The Therapy Room
The Therapy Room is a segment where we talk to mental health professionals for insights on life's challenges, which range from managing everyday stressors to chronic anxiety. Tune in as we explore topics around mental health issues, emotional wellbeing, and techniques to help you heal.
We discuss
- Why having a strong sense of self matters in relationships.
- What enmeshment looks like in a relationship.
- What makes enmeshment different from feeling deeply connected, and how one can start to see signs of it early.
- Why women tend to think more about relationships while men tend to act more.
- How we learn to set healthy boundaries and communicate them.
- Why self-reflection is rare until something goes wrong in the relationship.
- Small, gradual steps to reclaim your sense of self without blowing up the relationship.
Dr. Rachel’s bio
Dr. Rachel Jayaseelan is a Bangalore-based psychologist with over 14 years of clinical experience. Trained in NLP, Career Counselling, Cognitive Analytic Therapy, Solution Focused Brief Therapy, and Master Level Hypnosis, she uses an eclectic, client-centred approach. She is also a certified Sleep Consultant.
Her work centers on young adults and premarital relationships, with a special focus on relationship security — the subject of her doctoral research. Dr. Rachel has conducted 300+ workshops on communication, anxiety, depression, and healthy relationships, and has been featured in the Times of India and Deccan Herald. She is the founder of Wellness Within.
Connect with Dr. Rachel
Credits
- Ankit Narasimhan, host and episode planner.
- Ravi Kumar, sound designer and editor.
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*Disclaimer – The content in this podcast is only for educational purposes. It cannot be considered as individual therapy advice or counseling.
