“I always strived for academic excellence since childhood because I could see that it made my parents happy. So, I continued,” shares Alisha Chaudhry, a 21-year-old student from Mathura pursuing a B.Tech. in Computer Science alongside a Masters in Psychology. 

When asked if she identifies as a nerdy kid, she reflects, “Not so much. I feel like I was made to become one.”

This story is far from unique. 

This is the lived experience of countless students in India, where academic excellence is often tied to self-worth and family pride. India ranks the third largest globally in female suicides (primarily 30-44 years) and fourth in male suicides annually—a statistic that emphasizes the high stakes of this academic pressure.

But the impact doesn’t stop at grades alone. These pressures often follow students into adulthood, fostering imposter syndrome and self-doubt, where no achievement feels “good enough”.

Where do these pressures originate? How do Indian students cope, and what resources exist to support them? 

This article delves into these questions, shedding light on their silent struggles and exploring ways to break this cycle.

The cultural roots of “perfectionism” 

Education in India has long been a beacon of hope for upward mobility as it offers families a way to escape economic hardships and gain societal respect. Rooted in a collective mindset, academic success became synonymous with personal and familial honor. This creates a culture where high scores and prestigious degrees symbolize one’s worth.

“It felt like I was carrying everyone’s hopes on my shoulder. Watching my friends get into prestigious colleges didn’t help,” says Julia Fernandes, who felt intense pressure during her NEET (National Eligibility cum Entrance Test) preparation. 

While culture is one of the roots of this malaise, there are definitely other factors too. 

Where does this pressure come from?

Parents, teachers, and friends play an equal role in contributing to this pressure. It’s easy for students to compare themselves to fellow students and feel insecure. However, it’s worse when the parents or teachers make such comparisons as this further solidifies the compulsive need to “excel”.  

Dreams of becoming a doctor, engineer, or IAS officer are frequently not the students’ own, but are imposed by parents. And statements like “We’ve sacrificed so much for you” add an emotional element and take a toll on the student’s state of mind.

There’s yet another addition to this pressure. 

The pressure of social media

Both Alisha and Julia agreed that social media made them feel as if they were lagging behind. 

“I don’t like how I feel when I go through Linkedin posts from 20-year-old Founders, so I try not to use the platform much. But the feeling stays,” Alisha recounts. 

Julia states feeling inferior back when she was a witness to her friends studying in prestigious colleges. “Although deep down, I knew that wasn’t my path.” 

There’s pressure to keep up, and there’s pressure to show one’s achievements on social media, doubling the pressure factor. Gender also plays a part in this. 

Gender-specific expectations

Though our country is becoming a “progressive” nation, certain pockets of the country still hold on to gender-specific expectations. Boys must succeed in order to support the family, perpetuating gendered roles that pile on yet another layer of stress. Girls, on the contrary, must balance both academics and household duties and take on the “superwoman” mantle. 

This mix of pressures chips away slowly and gradually at students’ mental and emotional health, making it extremely critical to address these societal norms.

How does this pressure affect students?

Mental health issues

The relentless demand for academic excellence has led to a rise in anxiety, depression, and stress disorders among Indian students. Burnout is common, and suicide rates remain alarmingly high. In 2021 alone, over 13,000 student suicides were reported in India, emphasizing the severity of the issue​. 

Students don’t really take the time—or have the time, for that matter—to understand themselves, bringing us to the next point. 

Loss of individuality

In the race to meet societal expectations, many students suppress their true passions and hobbies. The constant need to conform to predefined “ideal” paths erodes their unique identities and self-worth. As a result, they don’t grow up to become well-rounded, self-aware individuals. 

Stunted creativity and critical thinking skills 

A rote-learning-centric education system leaves little space for innovation or problem-solving. When students are trained to memorize, and obey rather than question, the system stifles their creative and critical thinking skills.

Strained family relationships

Unrealistic parental demands often lead to communication breakdowns. Students may feel misunderstood or unsupported, further isolating them during their struggles.

Is there a way out?

Ways to break the cycle 

Prioritize child’s holistic growth over grades

When parents prioritize their child’s holistic growth over grades and encourage open conversations about goals and challenges, a positive home environment is created that fosters trust and reduces pressure.

Both Alisha and Julia revealed their hesitations about sharing their feelings with their parents. “I tried communicating how I feel with them and my friends but they couldn’t offer much support. Looking back, I realize they just didn’t know how to help.” said Julia. 

Turning to books and meditation helped her combat this isolation. 

Educational reforms

India needs educational reforms, given that as many as 26 aspirants had died by suicide in Kota in 2023 while preparing for various competitive exams. 

Both schools and colleges should promote diverse learning experiences—from extracurricular activities to vocational training—and normalize alternative career paths. These changes can help break the overemphasis on formal and competitive exams. Normalizing these alternate options can help students explore their interests and strengths.

Celebrate unconventional paths 

Both mainstream and social media play a major role in contributing to this pressure on students. News channels only airing interviews of toppers and achievers, for instance, subconsciously set the narrative among viewers that success is a one-size-fit-all. Instead, media campaigns that celebrate unconventional paths must be given a chance so that they can inspire students to follow their passions without fear of judgment.

Rethink what success means

Lastly, it’s time to reassess how we define success for students. Glorifying the “perfect student” image not only creates unrealistic expectations but also contributes to anxiety, burnout, and long-term self-doubt.

Parents and educators, please remember that a child’s worth isn’t measured by their grades or trophies. Instead, focus on nurturing a happy, mentally healthy, and self-driven individual. 

We can collectively shift from demanding perfection to encouraging personal growth. In the end, raising confident, joyful, and resilient individuals is a far greater achievement than a report card full of As.