“Guilt is always hungry; don’t let it consume you.”
This anonymous quote perfectly sums up the essence of Claire Oshetsky’s novel “Poor Deer.” Through Margaret, its 16-year-old narrator’s diary-like recollections, the book unravels her mental and emotional turmoil stemming from a tragic event that occurred when she was just four years old—a game of hide-and-seek that ended with the death of her best friend, Agnes.
From that day, Margaret’s life is indelibly marked by guilt, a shadow cast both by others’ blame and her internalized shame. People whisper cruel accusations, but it is the enigmatic and oppressive presence of “Poor Deer” that becomes her constant companion. A manifestation of guilt and self-doubt, Poor Deer whispers reproaches that Margaret cannot ignore. At once a tormentor and a reflection of her inner anguish, this haunting figure embodies the corrosive effects of unresolved trauma and self-blame.
Oshetsky’s portrayal of guilt is visceral and poignant. Margaret describes her struggle with truth and memory.
“I’ve been telling made-up stories for so long that the unadorned truth feels ugly and ungrammatical.”
This blend of reality and imagination, grief and guilt, blurs Margaret’s sense of self. Her storytelling, a survival mechanism, helps her make sense of a world that no longer feels safe. But it also keeps her tethered to her pain, unable to move forward.
The novel’s narrative alternates between past and present, tracing Margaret’s attempt to confront the events of that fateful day while navigating the fallout in her relationships. Her mother, Florence, wrestles with her own grief, her love for Margaret eroded by years of resentment and emotional distance. Meanwhile, Agnes’s mother is a poignant figure of loss, her sorrow a mirror to Margaret’s guilt.
What makes Poor Deer particularly compelling is its lyrical and sometimes whimsical prose. Oshetsky balances the darkness of the subject matter with moments of tenderness and introspection. Margaret’s neurodivergent traits and vivid imagination add depth to her character, portraying how trauma shapes perception and reality.
“Poor Deer” may center on Margaret’s guilt but in highlighting the struggle that others around her are going through, it is also equally about the possibility of reconciliation and forgiveness. Their journeys are poignant reminders of the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of compassion—toward oneself and others.
Guilt and trauma can disrupt our mental health and relationships, but they can also become a pathway to growth and healing.
